Jackie's Song

“Jackie’s Song” sits as the emotional centerpiece of the Praise Anyway album—a deeply personal track honoring the envisioned artist's longtime friend Jacquelyn "Jackie" Smith, whose tragic passing in 2017 profoundly impacted her. Jackie’s death was a pivotal moment in her story, one she openly said triggered her spiral into depression, isolation, and questioning. This song not only remembers Jackie but also wrestles with grief, guilt, hope, and heaven.

• Jackie was part of her close circle and prayer group.
• After Jackie’s death, she blamed herself for not being more present or discerning.
• She withdrew from music and the world, struggling with God and grief.
• Over time, she returned to community, counseling, and her faith.

Arc Overview

In the arc for the album through grief → healing → joy → purpose this track begins the process: loss and surrender.

Lyrics

Verse 1
I still save your texts on my old phone
I read them out loud when I’m alone
You said, “God is good, no matter what they say”
You smiled through pain, you lit the way

Verse 2
I held your Bible yesterday
Marked with verses you told me to pray
You fought with grace, even when it hurt
A warrior wrapped in joy and a Jesus shirt

Chorus
I wasn't ready when you left
I lost my breath, I lost my steps
I prayed for healing, begged the sky
And when you went, I asked God why
But still your faith keeps echoing
In songs I sing, in everything
You’re gone, but you still stay
In the hope I find each day

Verse 3
You told me, “Don’t you lose your spark”
But I wandered off into the dark
I let the silence steal my song
Felt like the world kept moving on

Bridge
But now I hear you in my tears
In whispered strength that calms my fears
You taught me how to stand and pray
Even when God feels far away

Final Chorus
I wasn't ready when you left
But I still feel your kindness kept
I prayed for healing, I still don’t see
The whole of God’s great mystery
But still your voice keeps echoing
In how I serve, in how I sing
You're gone, but you still stay
In the hope I find each day
In the way I praise… anyway

Why This Song Matters

• Offers Listeners a Faithful Language for Loss
  The song gives words to the ache of losing someone faithful — blending sorrow with hope, without easy answers.
• Celebrates Spiritual Legacy
  Through references to shared Scripture and encouragement, the song captures how a friend's faith continues to guide even after passing.
• Balances Grief and Worship
  It models how a believer can wrestle with loss, disappointment, and even anger at God — while still choosing to believe and worship.
• Reflects Real Struggle with Faith
  It’s honest about spiritual silence and emotional darkness, yet grounded in a sustaining relationship with God — mirroring the real journey many believers take through grief.